Thursday, September 29, 2011

Creative Writing - "Boy"

This was my creative writing assignment for one of my classes. Directly inspired by "Girl" by Jamaica Kincaid. Let me know what you think.


Grip the bat this way so you don’t miss the baseball like you always do; break in your mitt as soon as you buy it; come home right after practice and clean your room; put your video games away, you ungrateful brat; don’t forget to break in your mitt; do all your chores quickly and don’t take any breaks to have a cookie; listen to your mother and don’t ask me questions; do your homework so you don’t become an unsuccessful bum having to live off me and your mother for your entire life; help your sister with her homework when she whines; eat your broccoli; read a passage from the Bible once a night or you’ll go to hell; I thought Jesus forgives all?; don’t ever question anything I say; don’t be afraid to injure the other team’s best player if it leads to victory; remember to keep your stance wide and your eye on the ball; second place is the first loser; don’t disappoint me; don’t let down your mother; failure literally isn’t an option, we aren’t afraid to abandon you; find a nice girl to date; stay out of the kitchen, always act like a man; be a gentleman, respect her if she says “no,”; tell your mom to get me a beer; never change the channel when I watch television; but I’m sick of watching sports; I think your mother is putting too much of that strange estrogen vitamin in your meals; the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree; never bring your family apple picking, it’s bad luck; there is such a thing as a good time to lie; Democrats are ignorant because they never have any good things to say about anything; go to a college that is known to all the neighbors, but only if they think it’s a good school; follow your dreams; your mother and I firmly believe that majoring in Accounting is clearly the wisest choice for you; I don’t even like math; I’m guessing that you don’t like girls either?; stop worrying about the future, you’re only 11; I’m 13; stop being ungrateful; accept that life is meaningless because everyone in the world will eventually die; heaven might not be real; try to live life without regrets; choose Wendy’s over McDonald’s because it seems classier; get used to riding a bike because I’m definitely not buying you a car; you never even taught me how to ride one; well go learn on your own; are you going to be a failure or success in life?

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