Religion: Questioning

I'm going to make this an ongoing topic that I'll keep posting about in the future. I know that I can't fit all of my thoughts in this one post, so this will be the start of my new series about Religion.
___________________________________________________________________

This topic of Religion is meant to help myself put my questions, thoughts, and ideas into actual writing. I write this to express my feelings, and receiving some answers or suggestions would be great. This is NOT about me choosing to leave the Church.

This is not meant to offend anyone.Thank you.
___________________________________________________________________


I like to think of myself as a good, practicing Catholic. I go to mass every Sunday, I pray before meals, I've attended a Catholic elementary school and even University, I keep rosaries and symbols of my faith in my car, dorm, and wallet. Yet I wouldn't call myself devout. Odd?

Definition of devout:

1. Having or showing deep religious feeling or commitment.

2. Totally committed to a cause or belief.

I do not believe I am entirely, 110% committed to the Catholic faith. This does not mean that I do not accept the religion anymore, simply that I just have so many questions about Catholicism. When I first realized this about myself, I was a bit troubled. How could I be raised in such Catholic upbringing all my life but still find myself unsure of things?

The religion, actually, all religions, relies on faith and faith entirely. I picture religion sometimes as some one being stranded on a completely unmapped island, just forcing himself to live out of pure faith that some one will save him. Yes, the movie Cast Away is a perfect example, but how many times out of 10 would that man be saved?

I loved going to Catholic school (St. John's the Evangelist, represent) and I love attending a Catholic university (La Salle University in Philadelphia). Catholicism has a great moral code that is taught to the children, something that I'm extremely grateful for since it really has shaped my own character. But since these same children are raised believing in the Holy Trinity and everything in the Bible, there isn't room to question these ideas. They are given to us as facts.

What I'm trying to say here, is that we've never had opportunities to question our own religion and explore others. Most religious families preserve their faith and raise and grow their family within that religion's boundaries and morals, which is fine by all means. There is nothing wrong with that.

But now, I am putting my questions, built up over the years, into words.



--------
Some topics (but not limited to) that I hope to cover in the upcoming days (in no particular order):

1) Catholic Flaws
2) Other Religious Alternatives
3) Guilty Conscience About Lack of Faith

My Epiphany

I was sitting in the back of my 3:30 class, as I did every Tuesday. I was jotting down notes as well as I could..or as well as I thought I could. The professor was lecturing to a class of about 30 college students, all of whom seemed to understand everything she was saying. Everyone except for me that is. This class was pretty important. Maybe even..major. (See what I did there? Oh yeah, I was an accounting major less than 50 days ago.)

This was Intermediate Accounting.

This class was known for being the top of the mountain for accounting classes. Except when you reach the top, you look up and realize God built another mountain on TOP of said mountain. One of my advisors once asked me how I was doing in this class. I said I was doing "okay." And he said, "great! It's all uphill from here!"

Now maybe you understand the importance of this class. Let's go back to that 3:30 class on Tuesday:

I stopped taking my notes. I realized..what the hell am I writing these notes down for? I don't understand any of this. I sat back in my chair. Scanned the room. Looked at the people around me and searched for an answer inside my cloudy brain. I didn't know why I was there. First of all, I hate numbers. I hate math. I hate crunching numbers. I hate math. I hate doing equations and memorizing them. Also, I hate math.

Second of all, I never really put that much effort when I was deciding my major. Both my parents are accountants. Hell, even my sister is an accountant! My whole life, I was surrounded by that environment, imagine that. When it came time to choose my major, the choice seemed easy. My parentals never pressured me, but it just seemed like the path my life was destined for. Ha, looks like destiny belongs in movies and this year's NBA Finals.

Time to fast forward in the interest of time. It took about a month of thinking, questioning myself, listening to others' opinions, and, best of all, getting excited. My plan was to switch my major to English, something I LOVED studying, while pursuing a track in Pre-Law.

Let me tell you now. This is the first time, EVER, in my life that I've been excited about any sort of education. I'm motivated like never before. I say that in complete honesty.

I've given you the start and end of my epiphany and choice to change majors. The real fun is when I reminisce about some heart to hearts I've had with multiple people about this subject. Please check back again.

And thank you for reading.

Erick Julian