I've had a rough night and day so far, going through some frustrating times. I've talked before about how life may bring you through some really dark tunnels, when there seems to be no end in sight. But in the grand scheme of things, that tunnel may only be a few miles long, really short compared to the (almost) eternal marathon that life seems to be. Frustration is only a ripple in life, sometimes even a larger wave. It will cause discomfort, but for a short amount of time.
But that wave could possibly overwhelm you. It's times like these that you need to use the power of perspective.
I was driving to work, slightly angry, sad, and a little bit shaken up. My mind was drifting into all these crazy, seemingly impossible, thoughts. I was frustrated beyond belief, actually.
Then I saw traffic building up on the side of the road. My anger spilled over and I cursed under my breath, remarking to myself about how idiotic slow drivers can sometimes be. But then I realized that the car that was moving extremely slowly was a hearse, and behind it was a morbid looking line of cars moving just as slowly. That's when I felt terrible about myself, realizing that my anger took control of me and blinded me to the importance of life.
Like actually living. Life is short and death is inevitable. Which is why one must live everyday as best as he or she can. You never know what can happen. You may lose a loved one, you may know someone who has fallen ill, or maybe you yourself may have something dire happen. It puts everything in perspective.
I know what I want in my life. I have an amazing family, friends that are practically family, and a girlfriend who I want to make family. But in times of frustration and anger, when its at the point where your boiling blood is about to overflow, take a step back, realize how good you really have it, and gain some perspective. Deal with your problems maturely, move on, and live life.
Sometimes you may find yourself moving too fast. Remember to pace yourself. Remember that eventually, you'll be leading a slow line of morbid looking cars.
Don't take anything for granted. Live to love and love to live.
_____
Sorry if this post seemed a little dark. Love you all.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Memories
Anyone that has grown up as the youngest in the family has a unique perspective on life and cousins. Growing up (growing up includes the present..aren't we all still growing?), I was the youngest of 4 children, me, my sister, and two of my oldest cousins.
I have so many random memories of our childhood that it feels so great just looking back on them..but the feeling becomes sad when I realize that these memories are buried in the past. Yes, we'll have each other forever, but we all have our own lives now. We don't live a block away from each other anymore. And since my memory is infamously terrible, I'm gonna jot some down here so I'll never forget them. Well here are two fond memories that I shared with Erika, Dom, and Cezar. If I think of more and don't get lazy to write them, I'll make another post.
Blizzard of '96
I think this was the very first blizzard that I been through. I was only 5 at the time, but I have some awesome memories of that time. I remember the snow that my family was shoveling kind of formed a maze..at least it looked like a maze because I was like 3 feet tall! I remember having the time of my life just running through the snow, not being able to see over it, but still having immense fun. No worries.
I also remember that Dom and Cezar built a HUGEEEE snow fort and froze it with water. Considering I was a tiny little human being, to me, this was the most amazing snow palace that I ever encountered. It had little tunnels for me and Erika to run through, windows and turret holes (I think it did, maybe my imagination is running a little wild right now) for us to launch snowballs out of, and it was built on a hill, which made the scene look epic when me and Erika held down the fort while Dom and Cezar attacked us while running up the hill like mad men. This scene right here is probably one of my favorite ones to look back on. :)
The Fart Van
We all went to the same elementary school for maybe a year (?). Dom must've been in 8th grade, Cezar in 7th, Erika was in 3rd, and I think I was in Kindergarten. My mom or their mom would take turns driving all of us to school in the morning, St. John's in Bergenfield, and this fine morning's was my mom's turn.
So we pull up to the 7th and 8th grade building that's separate from the rest of the school. Dom gets out..and Cezar was second..but he was a little hesitant. And out of no where..my mom, Erika, and I all smell a disgusting, putrid scent just wafting in the van. By the time my mom realized who did it and before she could scold him, Cezar slammed the sliding door and was off to class. The bandit made off without any repercussions.
I have so many random memories of our childhood that it feels so great just looking back on them..but the feeling becomes sad when I realize that these memories are buried in the past. Yes, we'll have each other forever, but we all have our own lives now. We don't live a block away from each other anymore. And since my memory is infamously terrible, I'm gonna jot some down here so I'll never forget them. Well here are two fond memories that I shared with Erika, Dom, and Cezar. If I think of more and don't get lazy to write them, I'll make another post.
Blizzard of '96
I think this was the very first blizzard that I been through. I was only 5 at the time, but I have some awesome memories of that time. I remember the snow that my family was shoveling kind of formed a maze..at least it looked like a maze because I was like 3 feet tall! I remember having the time of my life just running through the snow, not being able to see over it, but still having immense fun. No worries.
I also remember that Dom and Cezar built a HUGEEEE snow fort and froze it with water. Considering I was a tiny little human being, to me, this was the most amazing snow palace that I ever encountered. It had little tunnels for me and Erika to run through, windows and turret holes (I think it did, maybe my imagination is running a little wild right now) for us to launch snowballs out of, and it was built on a hill, which made the scene look epic when me and Erika held down the fort while Dom and Cezar attacked us while running up the hill like mad men. This scene right here is probably one of my favorite ones to look back on. :)
The Fart Van
We all went to the same elementary school for maybe a year (?). Dom must've been in 8th grade, Cezar in 7th, Erika was in 3rd, and I think I was in Kindergarten. My mom or their mom would take turns driving all of us to school in the morning, St. John's in Bergenfield, and this fine morning's was my mom's turn.
So we pull up to the 7th and 8th grade building that's separate from the rest of the school. Dom gets out..and Cezar was second..but he was a little hesitant. And out of no where..my mom, Erika, and I all smell a disgusting, putrid scent just wafting in the van. By the time my mom realized who did it and before she could scold him, Cezar slammed the sliding door and was off to class. The bandit made off without any repercussions.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
No Matter What
The world is a dark place. There is war. There is murder. There are kidnappings. Whether you like it or not, humans live with constant fear of the unknown. People who say, "no fear" can be naive. Because there are always threats on this earth: natural death, illness, environmental catastrophes.
Sometimes one's life can lead to a dark tunnel. You're surrounded by the darkness of hard, trying times. Sometimes, life takes the lemons it has given you, and rots them.
But what that popular quote doesn't include is the fact that life has also given you apples.
The world is a bright place. There is harmony. There is teamwork. There are adoption centers and homeless shelters that society has built to help humanity. People who say, "the world is a dark place" are naive. Because there are always apples on this earth when you're lemons have run out. Apples that are family, lovers, and parents.
Sometimes one's life can lead to a dark tunnel. You're surrounded by the darkness of hard, trying times. But you still have those apples.
In this world of dark and light, there are only a few constants that life has given you. Family will be forever forgiving, no matter what your mistakes are, they will always be there for you. They are a source of eternal happiness, a God-given gold watch: something that will never break or ever go out in style.
Of equal importance is one's significant other. Your lover, partner, hubby, better half, or wife or husband. Something which is called true love (corny, but you know the feeling once you have it). One's love life is a towering, twisting, and troublesome maze. You enter with your significant other. You may get lost, tripped, and separated, yet the couple will always find each other and continue through the maze and finish the journey together.
But of utmost importance are your parents.
Sidenote: I was trying to keep this post objective..yet I couldn't with the topic of parents. I have some things to say.
So, of utmost importance are my parents. Sometimes I wonder how they put up with me. I do a lot of stupid things, I disappoint them numerous times, and..well..I can be a pain in the ass. Recently, I've been putting in 50% effort towards them..sometimes being ignorant towards what they're feeling. Some close friends and family and my girlfriend have pointed that out to me. That I should try harder. That I should be more understanding. That I should be a good son. Let's just say, I entered a dark tunnel for a bit there.
Be grateful for what you have. Sometimes it takes some wandering off into long, dark tunnels in order to understand that there is a light to guide you toward the end. The light that is your parents, family, and loved one is unwavering.
No matter what.
(I know the apples and lemons analogy is really mediocre. I apologize, but it makes sense in my head. Also, "when life gives you lemons, just say 'F*ck the lemons,' and bail.")
Sometimes one's life can lead to a dark tunnel. You're surrounded by the darkness of hard, trying times. Sometimes, life takes the lemons it has given you, and rots them.
But what that popular quote doesn't include is the fact that life has also given you apples.
The world is a bright place. There is harmony. There is teamwork. There are adoption centers and homeless shelters that society has built to help humanity. People who say, "the world is a dark place" are naive. Because there are always apples on this earth when you're lemons have run out. Apples that are family, lovers, and parents.
Sometimes one's life can lead to a dark tunnel. You're surrounded by the darkness of hard, trying times. But you still have those apples.
In this world of dark and light, there are only a few constants that life has given you. Family will be forever forgiving, no matter what your mistakes are, they will always be there for you. They are a source of eternal happiness, a God-given gold watch: something that will never break or ever go out in style.
Of equal importance is one's significant other. Your lover, partner, hubby, better half, or wife or husband. Something which is called true love (corny, but you know the feeling once you have it). One's love life is a towering, twisting, and troublesome maze. You enter with your significant other. You may get lost, tripped, and separated, yet the couple will always find each other and continue through the maze and finish the journey together.
But of utmost importance are your parents.
Sidenote: I was trying to keep this post objective..yet I couldn't with the topic of parents. I have some things to say.
So, of utmost importance are my parents. Sometimes I wonder how they put up with me. I do a lot of stupid things, I disappoint them numerous times, and..well..I can be a pain in the ass. Recently, I've been putting in 50% effort towards them..sometimes being ignorant towards what they're feeling. Some close friends and family and my girlfriend have pointed that out to me. That I should try harder. That I should be more understanding. That I should be a good son. Let's just say, I entered a dark tunnel for a bit there.
Be grateful for what you have. Sometimes it takes some wandering off into long, dark tunnels in order to understand that there is a light to guide you toward the end. The light that is your parents, family, and loved one is unwavering.
No matter what.
(I know the apples and lemons analogy is really mediocre. I apologize, but it makes sense in my head. Also, "when life gives you lemons, just say 'F*ck the lemons,' and bail.")
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Division
Division is taking something that is whole and separating it into different pieces. Division could be very useful; pizza pies can be evenly split, workloads can be tackled by a group or team, and, through miracles, even an entire sea can be split right down the middle. Division is great under certain circumstances.
But sometimes, division is the last thing you want.
A family divided is probably the saddest and one of the most life-numbing experiences one can go through. In this world, where the ultimate meaning of life is unknown (but there are thousands of different theories..that's a topic for another day), you are blessed with a few things in life. Shelter, food, friends, and, most importantly, family. You need to keep loved ones close to you, no matter what the circumstances are.
For a quick sidenote, always, ALWAYS, respect your parents. And if you're parents aren't alive anymore, do them justice, ask yourself if your mom or dad would approve of your actions, and keep their honor.
Brothers and sisters are special: you grow up with them, go through good times of laughter, hard times of anger, yet in the end, they will still be your sibling. They entered the world through the same womb as you did. Sometimes fights can go too far, I've experienced this with my sister before. Tears may be shed, unkind, but mostly unmeant, curse words may be screamed, and in the heat of the moment, hate may take hold. But time simmers heat eventually, and that temporary hate gets over powered by the sibling bond that you share.
Or that's how it's supposed to play out at least. Other factors sometimes take hold.
Greed. Disloyalty. Jealousy.
These driving factors cause the hate to actually increase over time, blinding the siblings into forgetting where they came from. The childhood that they shared, the insane adversity (adversity at levels that I don't believe I could've been successful in) that they battled through, and the beautiful moments of family and love that thrive when there is no animosity between each other.
The siblings also forget that they are adults. That they have children to think of. In a weird plot twist, it isn't unusual that the children (aka the cousins), may act more mature than the adults. It isn't the adults' fault; hate has blinded them so strongly, and unfortunately, weakening one sense doesn't tremendously empower your other senses like in super hero movies. But this is why it is important to learn history in the classrooms, as we are taught to try to learn from past experiences and to avoid having the same disastrous results.
Which is why my sister and I have vowed to never let money, in-laws, or material things get in the way of our relationship.
And why my sister and I remain extremely close to our cousins, despite any family drama that may occur.
The lesson in all this is that you can't forget where you came from and the siblings that you grew up with, the ones who share the same DNA and blood as you. In the end, you are fighting over things that don't matter in the grand scheme of things. If you are religious, do you think there is a greater chance of you getting into Heaven if God sees that you have more money than some one else? Do you value your brothers and sisters, or can you live without talking to them for months, possibly years, at a time?
But most importantly, do you ever think of your parents? Would they approve of this? You really gotta ask yourself this and do some self-analysis.
Please just keep an open mind towards others, and learn how to forgive and move on.
Thanks.
Erick Julian
But sometimes, division is the last thing you want.
A family divided is probably the saddest and one of the most life-numbing experiences one can go through. In this world, where the ultimate meaning of life is unknown (but there are thousands of different theories..that's a topic for another day), you are blessed with a few things in life. Shelter, food, friends, and, most importantly, family. You need to keep loved ones close to you, no matter what the circumstances are.
For a quick sidenote, always, ALWAYS, respect your parents. And if you're parents aren't alive anymore, do them justice, ask yourself if your mom or dad would approve of your actions, and keep their honor.
Brothers and sisters are special: you grow up with them, go through good times of laughter, hard times of anger, yet in the end, they will still be your sibling. They entered the world through the same womb as you did. Sometimes fights can go too far, I've experienced this with my sister before. Tears may be shed, unkind, but mostly unmeant, curse words may be screamed, and in the heat of the moment, hate may take hold. But time simmers heat eventually, and that temporary hate gets over powered by the sibling bond that you share.
Or that's how it's supposed to play out at least. Other factors sometimes take hold.
Greed. Disloyalty. Jealousy.
These driving factors cause the hate to actually increase over time, blinding the siblings into forgetting where they came from. The childhood that they shared, the insane adversity (adversity at levels that I don't believe I could've been successful in) that they battled through, and the beautiful moments of family and love that thrive when there is no animosity between each other.
The siblings also forget that they are adults. That they have children to think of. In a weird plot twist, it isn't unusual that the children (aka the cousins), may act more mature than the adults. It isn't the adults' fault; hate has blinded them so strongly, and unfortunately, weakening one sense doesn't tremendously empower your other senses like in super hero movies. But this is why it is important to learn history in the classrooms, as we are taught to try to learn from past experiences and to avoid having the same disastrous results.
Which is why my sister and I have vowed to never let money, in-laws, or material things get in the way of our relationship.
And why my sister and I remain extremely close to our cousins, despite any family drama that may occur.
The lesson in all this is that you can't forget where you came from and the siblings that you grew up with, the ones who share the same DNA and blood as you. In the end, you are fighting over things that don't matter in the grand scheme of things. If you are religious, do you think there is a greater chance of you getting into Heaven if God sees that you have more money than some one else? Do you value your brothers and sisters, or can you live without talking to them for months, possibly years, at a time?
But most importantly, do you ever think of your parents? Would they approve of this? You really gotta ask yourself this and do some self-analysis.
Please just keep an open mind towards others, and learn how to forgive and move on.
Thanks.
Erick Julian
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